are called that not because they don't like parties, but because they are heedless of normal social rules.
They love parties, and any other source of excitement and fun. They hate boredom worse than a stake through the heart.
DAREDEVILS are attracted to thrills like lemmings to cliffs.
LOOK FOR: Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.
DRAW YOU IN WITH: Fun, excitement, and adorable adolescent rebelliousness.
DRAIN YOU BY: Overdoing everything exciting, and underdoing everything else.
THE ONES YOU SEE EVERY DAY: Cowboys, cowgirls, day traders, party animals, rebels without a cause, and that one lover you just can't seem to forget.
DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Keep your brain engaged even when theirs are turned off. Especially then.
USED-CAR SALESMEN their drug of choice is putting one over on you.
LOOK FOR: People who swear they're telling the truth. Think about it, who but a liar would expect to be doubted?
DRAW YOU IN WITH: Instant rapport, smiling sincerity, and the sweet prospect of something for nothing.
DRAIN YOU BY: Lying, cheating, stealing, and perhaps getting you to engage in a bit of subterfuge yourself.
THE ONES YOU SEE EVERY DAY: Anybody who asks you if you've thought about your financial future.
DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Always read the fine print, and remember, if a deal sounds too good to be true, it is.
BULLIES are addicted to the raw thrill of seeing you squirm.
LOOK FOR: Anger, threats, and yelling.
DRAW YOU IN WITH: The illusion that they are powerful.
DRAIN YOU BY: Making you afraid.
THE ONES YOU SEE EVERY DAY: The guy in the pickup who flips you off, and the petty tyrant who runs the finance department.
DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Remember that the real battle with bullies is not in the dust of the playground, but in your own mind.
LISTENING TO THE CALL OF THE WILD:
THE ANTI-SOCIAL EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE CHECKLIST
True or false? Score one point for each true answer.
1. THIS PERSON BELIEVES THAT RULES WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN.
2. THIS PERSON IS ADEPT AT USING EXCUSES TO AVOID DOING WHAT HE OR SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO.
3. THIS PERSON HAS HAD LEGAL PROBLEMS.
4. THIS PERSON REGULARLY ENGAGES IN DANGEROUS ACTIVITIES FOR THEIR THRILL VALUE.
5. THIS PERSON CAN TURN ON BRILLIANT BURSTS OF CHARM TO GET HIS OR HER WAY.
6. THIS PERSON IS NOT VERY GOOD AT MANAGING HIS OR HER FINANCES.
7. THIS PERSON SMOKES WITHOUT APOLOGY.
8. THIS PERSON HAS ONE OR MORE OTHER ADDICTIONS.
9. THIS PERSON HAS HAD MORE SEX PARTNERS THAN MOST PEOPLE.
10. THIS PERSON SELDOM WORRIES.
11. THIS PERSON ACTUALLY BELIEVES THAT SOME PROBLEMS CAN BE SETTLED WITH A FIST FIGHT.
12. THIS PERSON SEES NO PROBLEM WITH LYING TO ACHIEVE A GOAL.
13. THIS PERSON JUSTIFIES DOING BAD THINGS TO PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY WOULD DO IT TOO IF THEY HAD THE CHANCE.
14. THIS PERSON CAN CONSCIOUSLY THROW A TANTRUM TO GET HIS OR HER WAY.
15. THIS PERSON DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF LOOKING BEFORE YOU LEAP.
16. THIS PERSON BELIEVES IN HAVING FUN FIRST AND DOING THE WORK LATER.
17. THIS PERSON HAS BEEN FIRED FROM A JOB, OR HAS QUIT IMPULSIVELY.
18. THIS PERSON REFUSES TO COMPLY WITH ANY SORT OF DRESS CODE.
19. THIS PERSON REGULARLY MAKES PROMISES THAT HE OR SHE NEVER KEEPS.
20. DESPITE ALL THESE FAULTS, THIS PERSON IS STILL ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET.
Scoring: Five or more true answers qualifies the person as an Anti-Social Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Anti-Social Personality. If the person scores higher than ten, hold onto your wallet, and your heart.