Basic Calming

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=110 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="16bf0f21egerdp.jpg"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="05b203c0.jpg" border=0 width="32" height="60" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#66334C" FACE="Arial" ><B>   albernstein.com  PSYCHOLOGY THAT WORKS   </B></FONT><B>      |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" albernstein.com PSYCHOLOGY THAT WORK"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id108.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How to Deal With Emotionally Explosive P"><U>How to Deal With Emotionally Explosive People</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id103.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="FAQs about Emotional Explosions"><U>FAQ's about Emotional Explosions</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id95.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Explosions into Fear"><U>Explosions into Fear</U></A>   |   <B>Basic Calming</B>   |   <A HREF="id86.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Treating Fear"><U>Treating Fear</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="16af2f02egerdp.jpg"> <div> <B>From:</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="18c89cf0.gif" border=0 width="137" height="207" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/007138569X/qid=1039297850/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/103-4598922-1166252" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0"><U><B>Order from Amazon.com</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id83.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Explosions into Fear"><U><B>Explosions into Fear</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id84.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Explosions into Depression"><U><B>Explosions into Depression</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id82.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Explosions into Anger"><U><B>Explosions into Anger</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id80.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Basic Calming"><U><B>Basic Calming</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id81.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Basic Defusing"><U><B>Basic Defusing</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id86.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Treating Fear"><U><B>Treating Fear Disorders</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id88.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Treating Depression"><U><B>Treating Depression</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id87.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Treating Anger"><U><B>Treating Anger</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id77.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sample Chapter"><U><B>Sample Chapter</B></U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=370 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="16df0f03.jpg"> <div> <I>Basic Calming</I></div> <div> <B>                          </B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><B>BASIC CALMING TECHNIQUE</B></FONT></div> <bR> <div>   At the physiological level, calming a person who is frightened , anxious, or in a panic means shifting neurological activity from the <I>Sympathetic Nervous System</I> to the resting state <I>Parasympathetic</I>.  Both systems are feedback loops in which senses,  muscles, and brain are connected.  If you control any part of the loop you influence the whole thing.<B>  </B>That’s the theory.  Here’s what to do on the ground:</div> <div> <B>RESTORE RHYTHM </B>  In calming, cadence is more important than content. Sympathetic activity is fast, jagged, and irregular.  Give panicky people something repetitive and reassuring to focus on.  Start loudly and rapidly enough to attract their attention, then soften and slow.  Go where they are, and gently lead them to where you want them to be.  If all you do is repeat the phrase, <I>You’re  going to be okay</I> to the rhythm of an imaginary deep, slow drum, frightened people will eventually calm down.</div> <div>  <B>FOCUS ON BREATHING</B>   Rapid, shallow panting works well for running or fighting, but merely fans the flames of fear when people are standing still.  Hyperventilation causes all sorts of frightening sensations.</div> <div> One of the best ways to control breathing is to have frightened people sing loudly, holding notes as long as they can.  Needless to say, not everyone will try this. Have less musical people take a deep breath, hold for 5 seconds while you count, then breathe out for 5 seconds.  Slow, deep exhaling is the best cure for hyperventilation.  <I>Do not </I>use a paper bag. </div> <div> <B>REWARD SMALL STEPS</B>  Give people an <I>okay</I> or<I> good</I> every time they do what you suggest.  If you feel like a pre-school teacher, you’re doing it correctly.  </div> <div> If arousal increases – and it probably will –  go back a step and bring them down again. </div> <div> <B>GET MOVING </B>Movement helps burn off excess adrenaline. A brisk walk is great.  When that’s not possible, have people tense, hold, and relax.  Muscles that are involuntarily clenched relax more easily if they are purposely contracted first. </div> <div> <B>REDEFINE THE SITUATION</B>   The problem in panic is a malfunctioning alarm system.  The fear is real but the danger it warns of is not.  Frightened people think they are going to die, faint, wet their pants, or at least throw up. Don’t get sidetracked by discussing the specific dangers they imagine, because as soon as you’ve talked them out of one, they’ll think of another.  Focus instead on the alarm system itself.  Say: <I>You’re having a panic attack.  Your body is so full of adrenaline that it’s hard to think straight, that’s why you need to take the deep breaths to slow your mind down enough to start feeling better.</I>  Then move back to the calming sequence.  Obviously, if you have doubts as to the person’s safety, call 911.  </div> <div> <B>INTERRUPT ESCALATIONS</B> People in the midst of an emotional explosion do not get better by getting things off their chest.  Talking about how bad they feel only makes them feel worse. Don’t be afraid to interrupt.  It doesn’t help to stand by politely letting people work themselves up when you’re trying to calm them down.</div> <div> For more information see: <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="id83.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Explosions into Fear"><U><B>Explosions into Fear</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> and <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="id86.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Treating Fear"><U><B>Steps in the treatment of fear disorders</B></U></A></FONT></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>