STRESS

<body topmargin="0" leftmargin="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0"> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0"><tr> <td valign="top" colspan="2" height="110" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" text="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="16bf0f21egerdp.jpg"> <div> <b><img src="05b203c0.jpg" border="0" width="32" height="60" align="BOTTOM" hspace="0" vspace="0"></b><font size="5" color="#66334C" face="Arial"><b>   albernstein.com  PSYCHOLOGY THAT WORKS   </b></font><b>      |     </b><a href="index_htm.html" target="_top" title=" albernstein.com PSYCHOLOGY THAT WORK"><u><b>home</b></u></a></div> <div> <a href="id19.html" target="_top" title="The science of management"><u>The science of management</u></a>   |   <a href="id20.html" target="_top" title="The art of being managed"><u>The art of being managed</u></a>   |   <a href="id21.html" target="_top" title="Dealing with difficult people"><u>Dealing with difficult people</u></a>   |   <b>STRESS</b></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width="210" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" text="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="16af2f02egerdp.jpg"> <br> </td> <td valign="top" height="370" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" text="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="16df0f03.jpg"> <div> <i>STRESS</i></div> <div> <b>Summary: The way to beat job stress is by saying no to drugs, even if your own body makes them.</b></div> <div> <b>JOB STRESS ISN’T BAD FOR YOU UNLESS YOU TAKE TOO MANY DRUGS</b></div> <div>                                        Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D.</div> <br> <div> Job stress isn’t necessarily bad for you.  Don’t get me wrong, stress <i>can</i> kill you, but, like exercise, stress can also make you stronger. Everything depends on learning to handle it without drugs.</div> <br> <div> Stress happens <i>out there</i> -- deadlines, constant interruptions, financial pressures, conflicting demands, not to mention the zany and unpredictable actions of the people who work with you. What’s out there can’t hurt you, it’s what’s <i>in here</i> -- your physical reaction to stress -- that causes the problems.   It’s not the stress that gets you, it’s the drugs.  </div> <br> <div> Your body makes stimulant drugs --Adrenaline is the best known -- to gear itself up to handle threats by fighting back or running away.  Even though they’re homemade, these drugs are just as damaging as anything you can pick up on the street. </div> <br> <div> The secret to dealing effectively with job stress is to minimize the time your body spends giving harmful drugs to itself.  To do this, you have to understand that your body can’t distinguish between reality and fantasy; it only knows what your brain tells it.  Your physiological systems respond to what you think about rather than what is actually there.  You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever awakened at three a.m. with your muscles clenched and your heart pounding in an adrenaline rush because you were thinking about something your boss said at ten the previous morning.</div> <br> <div> The more times you play back stressful situations in your head -- or to an audience -- and the bigger and more dramatic you make them, the more drugs you get.</div> <br> <div> To deal effectively with stress, take actions, not drugs.   See the stressful situation as a problem to be solved.  Decide what you would like to happen (as opposed to replaying what did happen) and make a plan as to how to get from here to there.  Then take as much action as you can as quickly as you can.  Knowing that you’ve done everything possible to make the situation better is the most effective way to disable the replay button on your automatic drug-delivery system.</div> <br> <div> There is nothing wrong with occasional recreational use of adrenaline.  It is the constant day-to-day abuse that causes the damage.  The worst junkies are the people who get mad at every little thing that goes wrong.  They can’t even drive to work without a shot or two to keep their stomachs churning.</div> <br> <div> If you’re interested in getting off drugs, other helpful strategies include the things you’ve heard a million times -- positive self-talk and exercise to burn off the excess adrenaline.  It may also help to put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you catch yourself mentally replaying a stressful situation without taking action to solve the problem.</div> <br> <br> <div> Stress, anxiety, worry -- are they hidden killers that should be dealt with using the most radical of physiological and psychological treatments, or are they merely a part of life?</div> <div> Both.  To explain that answer, maybe I’d better define a few terms.</div> <br> <div> <b>DEALING EFFECTIVELY WITH STRESS STARTS WITH DEFINING YOUR TERMS</b></div> <div>                                                   Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D.</div> <br> <div> Stress, anxiety, worry -- are they hidden killers that should be dealt with using the most radical of physiological and psychological treatments, or are they merely a part of life?</div> <div> Both.  To explain that answer, maybe I’d better define a few terms.</div> <br> <div> <b>Stress</b> is merely a load on the system -- anything that gets our hearts going and our breathing rate up.  Sex, walking up stairs, or making a presentation to a group of shareholders are all forms of stress.  Any of them can overwhelm us, or build us up, depending on whether we jump into them all at once, or work our way up a little at a time.  Stress, like exercise, can make us stronger if we take it in regular, increasing doses.  Actually, exercise is a form of stress that everyone agrees is beneficial.</div> <div> So, why does stress have such a bad reputation? </div> <div> The problem is that we experience things we don't like to do as more stressful than things we like to do.  We call enjoyable stress <i><i>excitement</i></i> and actively pursue it.  Dating, skiing down a slope, or waiting in delicious anticipation for a bingo number to be called are all stressful, but nobody would consider avoiding these activities because of the physiological strain.</div> <div> Saying no to people who make unreasonable demands, speaking in front of a group, or denying ourselves the things we're addicted to are also stressful.  These stresses we avoid like poison.  Without exposing ourselves, we never develop sufficient strength and skill to handle these stresses.  When life finally forces us to confront them, they can wear us down or scare us to death.</div> <div> <b>Anxiety</b>, not stress, is the real hidden killer.  Anxiety is the internal psychological response to unpleasant external stress -- imagining the difficult situation in gruesome close-up with every hideous detail, both real and imaginary, blown completely out of proportion, often hundreds of times a day.  </div> <div> Anxiety kills in two ways:</div> <div>  First, owing to a defect in the central nervous system, our brains cannot distinguish reality from fantasy.  To use the technical term, the brain is crazy.  Every time we run through the horrible imaginary pictures of what the stressful situation might do to us, our poor deluded brains think they're actually happening in the real world.  Our brain hits the physiological panic button to get ready to face impending doom.   And . . . nothing happens.  Our bodies are all dressed up for fight or flight, but really have no place to go.  This continual arousal in the face of imaginary threat wears the system down in ways reality can never hope to match.</div> <div> The other way anxiety gets us is by supplying continuing reasons to avoid stressful situations.  We get all of the physical damage of facing our fears, but none of the benefits -- like increased power, sense of accomplishment, and learning that it wasn't so bad after all.</div> <div> <b>Worrying</b> is what we call it when we think about stressful situations.  Worrying is positive when it involves planning, considering alternatives, and figuring out how we are actually going to<i> do</i> something difficult or frightening.  Worrying is a problem when it substitutes for real actions, either by convincing us that real action is impossible, or by that peculiar magic, known only to worriers, in which the act of worrying actually convinces us that it is keeping danger at bay.  </div> <div> The difference between constructive worrying and anxiety is one of time as well as content.  Thirty minutes of worrying a day can prevent us from making stupid mistakes, more can distract us useful problem solving by making the problem bigger than it actually is.</div> <br> <div> I hope this information is useful to you in dealing with your day to day psychological problems at work.  If not, at least you'll know what to call them.</div> <br> <div> <b>Summary: We are seeing a bull stress-market of almost unlimited proportions.  Here's how to get in on it.</b></div> <div align="LEFT"></div> <div> <b>INVEST YOUR STRESS--GET HIGHER RETURNS IN MISERY</b></div> <div>                                                           Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D.</div> <br> <div> Most of us are content with the stress we already have, but there are a few people out there who are just not satisfied with taking what life gives them.  They want more. They're always on the lookout for a good investment strategy to maximize their suffering.  Lucky for them today's stress market is such that, with just a little effort and know-how, they can realize enormous returns in misery on whatever stress they have to invest.</div> <br> <div> If you are bullish on stress, here are some ideas from the experts on how to maximize your pain:</div> <br> <div>  <b>Consolidate your problems -- </b>Lumping your problems together into a single amorphous mass will make you less likely to erode your capital by dealing with issues one at a time.  Individual problems can sometimes be solved, which of course decreases your misery.  Consolidating your stress will make it more difficult to squander it away a little at a time away.  You get to keep every bit of worry and always feel overwhelmed by forces beyond your control.  </div> <br> <div> <b>Deny psychological stress and develop physical symptoms instead --</b>This conversion strategy is a sure winner.  Ignore your stress and the problems that cause it; instead, focus on what you feel in your body, and play that for all it's worth.  You can parlay a little stress into headaches, frequent colds, backaches and more gastrointestinal symptoms than anyone can name.  </div> <div> These symptoms are usually more painful and debilitating than the original stress, and they have the added benefit of being  almost impossible to diagnose and cure using standard medical technology. While your doctor is doing one inconclusive test after another, you get to worry about dying from some exotic and incurable disease!</div> <div>   If that's not enough misery,  you can get tons more with simple disbelief.  When your doctor finally does tell you that your problem is stress-induced you can assume that she is incompetent, and go through the process with five or six other physicians until nobody will treat you any more.  Even then there's always those clinics inTijuana.</div> <br> <div> <b>Blame someone else --</b> No matter what the problem is, always look for someone you can blame it on -- your boss or your spouse are excellent choices.   This strategy will increase your misery two ways.  First, it takes the whole issue out of your hands so that you can't inadvertently solve the problems and begin to feel better.  Second, it can create personal animosities and angry feelings that are sure to make everyone feel worse.  </div> <div> Blame also introduces dramatic possibilities that make the next investment strategy more entertaining and effective.</div> <br> <div> <b>Talk about it over and over -- </b>Nothing makes stress more stressful than repetition -- especially if you don't do anything about it except talk.  There are two ways to use this strategy to increase your stress, both are equally effective:  </div> <div> Talk to yourself.  This strategy is usually called worrying.  It has the added benefit of interfering with sleep so you have a chance to be even more stressed the next day.     </div> <div> Talk to others.  This strategy is usually called complaining.  You keep saying the same negative things  over and over until everyone you know avoids you like the plague.  If you play your hand well, you can end up feeling stressed out<i> and</i> rejected.</div> <br> <div> <b>Use your stress as an excuse for aggressive behavior -- </b>As an investment strategy this one is without peer.  You can use it to double and even triple your misery in the course of a single day.  Start by snapping at coworkers.  Be sure to be nice to your boss; you wouldn't want to get fired and lose this golden opportunity.  </div> <div> don't stop because the work day is over.  The roads are full of stupid and malicious people who are waiting to be taught a lesson.  Try and educate as many as you can.  Blow your horn!  Raise your finger!   </div> <div> By the time you get home you will be all warmed up to take on your loved ones.  Even the tiniest slight will seem like a major insult.  Always make a quick house inspection as soon as you get in the door.  There are bound to be things that should have been done that aren't.  With any luck  you can argue until bedtime, and brood half the night.  The possibilities are almost limitless, especially if you add a little alcohol.  </div> <div> What we are seeing is a bull stress-market of unlimited proportions.  There has never been a better time to invest your stress for higher gains in misery!  Don't wait.  We therapists can use your business.</div> <br> <br> <br> <br> <div> Summary: Being irritable is the most effective thing people can do to destroy their careers and make their lives miserable. They don't stop because they don't know that irritability is something they're doing.  They think it's happening to them.</div> <br> <div>                <b>HOW IRRITABLE PEOPLE MAKE MORE STRESS FOR THEMSELVES</b></div> <div>                                                       Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D.</div> <br> <div> Being irritable is the most effective thing people can do to destroy their careers and make their lives miserable. They don't stop because they don't know that irritability is something they're doing.  They see themselves as innocent victims of other people's stupidity and general cussedness.</div> <div> If you ask irritable people about their experience, here's what they think is going on:</div> <div> They're stressed.  These days, who isn't?  With the state of the country, the erosion of the work ethic, the collapse of the family, and all those unfair Asian trade practices, there are more than enough reasons to be uptight.  </div> <div>      Next, somebody says or does something.  Usually it's something that's bothered them for a while and they've decided not to say anything.  This time is the straw that breaks the camel's back.  They blow up -- they pout, yell, or maybe make rude gestures.  They see it as letting off a little steam, and are surprised when, later, people are still upset.  “It's no big deal,” they say.  “I get angry, then it's all over and I forget about it.  I don't hold grudges like some people I could name.”</div> <br> <div>      Wrong on all counts.  This is the way it really works:</div> <br> <div> Irritable people use anger to deal with stress<b> </b>even when more constructive possibilities are available.  They seldom consider talking things over calmly, listening to restful music or go for a brisk walk.  Irritable people think they can't do anything about their stress, because other people cause it, so it's up to other people to fix it.  Irritable people may be willing to take some medicine that will help them calm down, like a cup of coffee, or maybe a drink or two when they get home.   Some will even take Prozac.  What they don't do is consider the effect their own thoughts have on their irritability.</div> <div> Only in people's minds does stress automatically lead to anger.  Irritable people tend to play anger-inducing cassette tapes in their heads as frequently and loudly as teenagers play Rock ‘n’ Roll.  All day long they're hearing themselves say, “I can't believe how someone could be that idiotic,” or, “She has no right to think that,” or “I've told him a million times that there's a right way and a wrong way . . .”.  You get the idea.  Irritable people's choices in internal programming causes them to be an explosion just waiting for the tiniest spark to set it off.  </div> <div> For those not bright enough to do this on their own, there's always Rush Limbaugh.</div> <div> If people are serious about wanting to control their irritability, they must first recognize their internal cassettes as the source of their anger. Sure, other people do stupid things, but the more you think about them the more likely you are to do stupid things in retaliation.  Two stupids don't make a smart.  </div> <div> If irritable people can learn to stop their internal cassettes as soon as they start before they get started, anger control is a snap.  Literally.  I often give my clients a rubber band and tell them to put it around their wrist and snap it when they hear their tapes beginning - not hard enough to raise a blister, but hard enough to get their own attention so they realize that they have some choice in the matter.</div> <div> Blowing up creates steam, it doesn't let it off .  The more people blow up, the more likely they are to blow up in the future, it's as simple as that.  Certainly there are times that anger can be constructive, or at least seem like it is, because people give up and give in.  Most of the time anger just raises people's arousal level, and makes it more likely that something else will make them angry.  Then there's the whole issue of retaliation.</div> <div> It's better for irritable people to leave the scene before they say anything.  (Please,  no huffing, puffing, door-slamming, or saying your part and walking away before the other person can answer).  Later, when they're calmer, it's much more effective to say what it is they want other people to do, rather than telling them what they've done wrong.</div> <br> <div> Yes, irritability is a big deal.  Angry and resentful people keep their physiological arousal up in unhealthy ways.  Even though the old ideas about Type A personality and heart attacks are largely being revised, all researchers agree that the reacting to stress with irritability causes cardiovascular damage. </div> <div> Also, there's not much you can do that will mess up your life or your career more than getting angry.  If you don't believe me, ask your friends, coworkers,  and family.</div> <br> <br> </td> </tr></table></body>